When most men ask themselves how to flirt with a girl they are really asking how to talk to women with that certain charisma of a James Bond or a similar movie hero.

Apparently, charisma is the holy grail of flirting that everyone seems to be striving for when learning how to flirt and how to attract women. Also when people talk about so-called naturals, men with the natural ability to talk and flirt with women, they are often referring to that aura of charisma that surrounds them.

Charisma is also what makes famous men and women so appealing to the public eye. Politicians know exactly what to say and how to act to appeal to the masses and movie stars make their living of appealing to the audience. Their skills may seem to be naturally inborn but the good news is that it can be learned.

Charisma consists mostly of:

1) A high emotional intelligence quotient

2) Self-confidence

3) The ability to think out of the box

1) Richard Wiseman, professor at the university in Hertfordshire, found out about number 1 as he discovered that all charismatic persons where able to feel emotions strongly, make others experience strong emotions and also to resist the emotional influence of other charismatic people. This of course is also influenced by rhetorical abilities but it seems that those abilities can only form with the proper emotional intelligence.

Putting this principle into context with the ability to flirt, you have to learn to anticipate what a woman might feel in the moment and at the same time lead them through strong emotions with your flirting conversation while not being influenced by her emotions yourself.

2) That you need self confidence to be successful attracting women as well as leading countries through politics is well known and it is fortunately also learnable. Confidence comes through competence and the best way is still to go out and actually flirt instead of just reading about how to flirt with a girl.

3) The last insight originates from Gloria Beck, famous author and rhetorician, who discovered that we tend to think of someone as charismatic if they are different from ourselves. Different in a way that we’d like to be. So as you might see when flirting with a girl it is not advisable to just agree with her on everything as many men do.

To the contrary if you disagree with a woman from time to time but in a bold or clever way it only makes you more charismatic and therefore more attractive.

As you see the mystery of what makes a charismatic person can not only be broken down easily but also very practically applied in many ways, not only to learn how to flirt with a girl. For learning just that however you are welcome to visit the website of Jason Wagner, the author of this article.

No one would disagree that in recent years there has been something of a significant shift in the public perception of women who date toyboys – this has been, at least in part, accredited to the so called ‘cougar’ relationships of celebrities such as Demi Moore and Madonna who have made it fashionable for older women to look for younger men, but what is it that these guys see in women who are older?

It’s often said that middle aged women have a certain ‘allure’ – so why exactly is there such a magnetic attraction in the charms of the more mature woman?

We have drawn up a top five list -

1 – Confidence. Older women are often very worldly wise because of the vast amount of life experience they hold over their younger suitors. This can often result in guys being attracted to their confident aura – which may be the polar opposite of what they expect from girls their own age who can be more unsure of where they are going and exactly what they want from life.

2 – Independence. Women in their middle age tend to be financially independent which means that they won’t be expecting the guys to always pay for everything, this often is warmly appreciated by the younger men who like the fact that they are given a more equal role in the relationship. Far from expecting their date to be a sugar mummy, most guys will feel happy that they are on an equal footing and balanced financial setting.

3 – Attractiveness – Although they may be quite a lot older than what is a stereotype for model features, women in their 40’s and 50’s can certainly hold their own in the looks department. They enjoy taking care of themselves and unlike previous generations are keen to stay young in both body and mind – more often than not they can still look fantastic at 50.

4 – Zest For Life – believe it or not, rather than slowing down and taking life more easy – many women hit the big 40 and see it as a trigger for really grabbing life by the horns and living life to the fullest. This chemistry works well with their ‘toyboys’ who have a similar get up and go attitude.

5 – Intelligence- with all that life experience behind them guys wanting interesting conversations and the knowledge that the lady they are dating really knows what she is talking about (and doesn’t suffer fools gladly) can be a really liberating experience.

In conclusion – of course no relationship is perfect on a purely age related footing, but I hope this helps give an insight into why the chemistry in toyboy dating works so well from the mans point of view

Nick West is part of the online Toyboy Dating website http://www.toyboyconnection.com – which matches younger men with older women.