In life, we often experience anger and emotional pain because of trauma we suffer or simply the experiences through which we must go. These life experiences may include sickness, death, divorce, or any number of other events that may eventually become learning experiences if only we could process the events and see our way through them. The last thing that is likely to come to mind is healing and forgiving or asking for forgiveness for our part in the event. That is OK. Just like a physical wound, an emotional wound will not close instantly. It will take time, and if the would is severe enough, professional help.

Naturally, our first reactions when we are hurt include lashing out at others, focusing attention on our wounds, and harboring ill will against the party that we perceived as having wronged us. Eventually though there comes a time when healing must occur if we are to move on with our lives. We must transition from a place of being unhealthy to a place of being healthy again. For wounds that involve others, that cannot fully occur until we honestly and openly forgive them. If we do not forgive, that wound may leave a bad emotional scar if it even closes at all.

While forgiveness is a prerequisite for total healing, it is not always necessary to confront the person that wronged you. Sometimes it is not even desirable to interact with that person as that may actually cause additional harm. An example here would be a violent criminal and their victims. Likewise, if you need to ask forgiveness, it may not be in that individual’s best interest for you to interact with them as facing them might actually cause them harm. In these situations, a third party such as a counselor or therapist should be involved to properly guide the interactions and communications so that healing rather than destruction can take place. For less extreme situations though, if possible and as long as it does not harm the other party, grant forgiveness or ask for it in person.

When you do grant forgiveness to someone, be prepared that you may have to do it again. We are only human after all and those emotional wounds may still be irritated and raw to the point that we find ourselves harboring resentment again and again. That is OK. While some may argue that you never truly forgave the other person, my experiences have taught me that sometimes forgiveness has to be granted over and over again. While the first act of forgiveness toward another may release them, we may have to forgive them again and again before we finally release the hurt from ourselves. We may have to act on the decision to forgive before the feelings of forgiveness flow. Regardless of how long it takes though, what is important is that we continue forgiving.

People who do not forgive tend to become bitter, and they take that bitterness out on those around them. The project what they have experienced onto other situations and the actions of other people. This is neither healthy nor fair to the uninvolved party. It may also prove to be damaging to important relationships and cause a person to become isolated. Consider the victim of rape who, because of her experience, begins to believe that all me act that way. Her experiences lead her to project onto others the behavior that she suffered. Because rape is such a deep wound, she would not only need to forgive her attacker, she would also need counseling and therapy to help her through. The point is though, that before that wound can fully heal, she will need to forgive.

We all go through trauma in our lives. If is impossible to live in a world in which there is interaction with others and not be emotionally bumped, bruised, and battered. Even with our best intentions we may harm others and not even realize it. After we are wounded though, as part of the healing process, we need to forgive the person who hurt us so that we can fully live again.

Mike Dennison is the author of “365 Self Help and Motivational Tips for Living.” After having gone through several traumatic experiences in his adult life, Mike reinvented himself and now shares his experience of healing with others. For more information and a free sample of Mike’s book, visit http://www.BuildingTheBestYou.com.

If your ex has a new boyfriend but you are still deeply in love with her, this can feel like living in a nightmare. Just knowing that the two of them are together can be a real heart breaker. You should never give up if you believe the two of you still belong together. To make certain your ex girlfriend comes back to you consider some of the following actions.

Your first reaction when you find out your ex has a new boyfriend is going to push your emotions over the top. You will find this is true if you are still deeply in love with her. In all likely hood your ex will be the one that tells you about her new boyfriend, and the way you react to her news will have a tremendous impact on the future the two of you may or may not have. If you become emotional and say things you do not mean, and start crying, you are going to damage any hope of a future relationship. She expects you to act this way so try real hard to act appropriately to insure you the results you are looking for.

Your most favorable approach to take when you hear your ex has a new boyfriend is to acknowledge it and move on. You may actually feel the opposite way but for your sake you need to show her that you are fine with her new boyfriend. Let her tell you all about her new relationship, but never voice your true feelings at anytime. Wish her the best and act truly happy for them at this time. You may not think you can do this, but if you can, this will set the stage for the two of you to start a relationship.

The main reason to appear okay with the ex’s new relationship is to throw her off with your reaction, and make her question what your true motives are, why you are not jealous of her new boyfriend. If you can keep her questioning about your feelings, she will then make you the focus of her thoughts and feelings and not the new boyfriend. This is your ultimate goal to have her thoughts and feelings be on you.

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It is an awesome feeling when someone starts falling for you. It makes you happy and giddy all at the same time, but it can also be a little confusing. Sometimes it just seems like guys speak a totally different language, and it is not always easy to know what they mean (of course they feel the same way about us). But don’t worry, with these 5 steps we will make it easy for you to tell if a guy is into you (or not). Once you learn how to read the signals it is easy to get him to make the next move.

• He maintains eye contact. This is a sure fire signal, especially at the beginning, that a guy is into you. If he is focused on you alone, then you know that he is paying attention, and guys do this for one reason… to show you they like you.
• He tells a lot of jokes. Guys are pretty smart. They know that just about every woman on the planet is looking for a guy who can make them laugh. So if he is telling a lot of jokes, you can nearly guarantee that he is working on impressing you. So if you like him laugh at his jokes, it will show him that you are interested.
• He won’t stop calling, texting, or emailing. OK, this is a really obvious one I know. If you have a guy like this then he is into you. Be sure and return his calls, emails, and texts to keep him encouraged, but don’t go overboard, you want him to feel like he is in control.
• He is asking you lots of questions. This is a guy who is intrigued and wants to know more. He is not only interested in you, but he wants to impress you. If he brings you a small gift or plans a thoughtful outing based on your answers then he is interested in moving the relationship forward.
• He touches your hair or arm. This is often the first physical move a guy will make toward you. If he touches your hair, then you can be pretty sure that he is indeed into you.

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