Naturally, our first reactions when we are hurt include lashing out at others, focusing attention on our wounds, and harboring ill will against the party that we perceived as having wronged us. Eventually though there comes a time when healing must occur if we are to move on with our lives. We must transition from a place of being unhealthy to a place of being healthy again. For wounds that involve others, that cannot fully occur until we honestly and openly forgive them. If we do not forgive, that wound may leave a bad emotional scar if it even closes at all.

While forgiveness is a prerequisite for total healing, it is not always necessary to confront the person that wronged you. Sometimes it is not even desirable to interact with that person as that may actually cause additional harm. An example here would be a violent criminal and their victims. Likewise, if you need to ask forgiveness, it may not be in that individual’s best interest for you to interact with them as facing them might actually cause them harm. In these situations, a third party such as a counselor or therapist should be involved to properly guide the interactions and communications so that healing rather than destruction can take place. For less extreme situations though, if possible and as long as it does not harm the other party, grant forgiveness or ask for it in person.

When you do grant forgiveness to someone, be prepared that you may have to do it again. We are only human after all and those emotional wounds may still be irritated and raw to the point that we find ourselves harboring resentment again and again. That is OK. While some may argue that you never truly forgave the other person, my experiences have taught me that sometimes forgiveness has to be granted over and over again. While the first act of forgiveness toward another may release them, we may have to forgive them again and again before we finally release the hurt from ourselves. We may have to act on the decision to forgive before the feelings of forgiveness flow. Regardless of how long it takes though, what is important is that we continue forgiving.

People who do not forgive tend to become bitter, and they take that bitterness out on those around them. The project what they have experienced onto other situations and the actions of other people. This is neither healthy nor fair to the uninvolved party. It may also prove to be damaging to important relationships and cause a person to become isolated. Consider the victim of rape who, because of her experience, begins to believe that all me act that way. Her experiences lead her to project onto others the behavior that she suffered. Because rape is such a deep wound, she would not only need to forgive her attacker, she would also need counseling and therapy to help her through. The point is though, that before that wound can fully heal, she will need to forgive.

We all go through trauma in our lives. If is impossible to live in a world in which there is interaction with others and not be emotionally bumped, bruised, and battered. Even with our best intentions we may harm others and not even realize it. After we are wounded though, as part of the healing process, we need to forgive the person who hurt us so that we can fully live again.

Mike Dennison is the author of “365 Self Help and Motivational Tips for Living.” After having gone through several traumatic experiences in his adult life, Mike reinvented himself and now shares his experience of healing with others. For more information and a free sample of Mike’s book, visit http://www.BuildingTheBestYou.com.

Your first reaction when you find out your ex has a new boyfriend is going to push your emotions over the top. You will find this is true if you are still deeply in love with her. In all likely hood your ex will be the one that tells you about her new boyfriend, and the way you react to her news will have a tremendous impact on the future the two of you may or may not have. If you become emotional and say things you do not mean, and start crying, you are going to damage any hope of a future relationship. She expects you to act this way so try real hard to act appropriately to insure you the results you are looking for.

Your most favorable approach to take when you hear your ex has a new boyfriend is to acknowledge it and move on. You may actually feel the opposite way but for your sake you need to show her that you are fine with her new boyfriend. Let her tell you all about her new relationship, but never voice your true feelings at anytime. Wish her the best and act truly happy for them at this time. You may not think you can do this, but if you can, this will set the stage for the two of you to start a relationship.

The main reason to appear okay with the ex’s new relationship is to throw her off with your reaction, and make her question what your true motives are, why you are not jealous of her new boyfriend. If you can keep her questioning about your feelings, she will then make you the focus of her thoughts and feelings and not the new boyfriend. This is your ultimate goal to have her thoughts and feelings be on you.

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• He maintains eye contact. This is a sure fire signal, especially at the beginning, that a guy is into you. If he is focused on you alone, then you know that he is paying attention, and guys do this for one reason… to show you they like you.
• He tells a lot of jokes. Guys are pretty smart. They know that just about every woman on the planet is looking for a guy who can make them laugh. So if he is telling a lot of jokes, you can nearly guarantee that he is working on impressing you. So if you like him laugh at his jokes, it will show him that you are interested.
• He won’t stop calling, texting, or emailing. OK, this is a really obvious one I know. If you have a guy like this then he is into you. Be sure and return his calls, emails, and texts to keep him encouraged, but don’t go overboard, you want him to feel like he is in control.
• He is asking you lots of questions. This is a guy who is intrigued and wants to know more. He is not only interested in you, but he wants to impress you. If he brings you a small gift or plans a thoughtful outing based on your answers then he is interested in moving the relationship forward.
• He touches your hair or arm. This is often the first physical move a guy will make toward you. If he touches your hair, then you can be pretty sure that he is indeed into you.

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It is you that is feeling the love. Live that truth and knowing. When you apparently fall out of love with another, it is you that is not loving the other. Can you see that? Look in retrospect at the trail of love in your life. On reflection, you can surely see that it was you all along, with the feeling of love from within you toward other. Romantic love is different. The way to know the difference is that it is a highly addictive state. You will do anything to get a ‘fix’ called the other person. You are attached. Love, true love, has no attachment. It is clean, clear, non-attachment, as it is eternal and there is no need to grasp onto it. Which is one of the ways of knowing, ‘is this true love?’ You can let it go, meaning let it keep moving, changing shape. In the moment that it comes in, you release it to the moment. It’s full.

- Love is a feeling. That is it. A feeling inside that fills you with something very familiar to your heart and soul. Love is you. You are here to bring the love that you are to what comes into your awareness, and that you pay attention to. Like a child that has come into your life that you are giving your attention to, and love. This is what grows us. Love. A very beautiful feeling of fulfillment, that is unconditional in nature. You can look into the eyes of your beloved and say: “I do not need you. I want to be in your life, and so here I am, lovingly. My love, I want to be with you, and share life with you”. That is wholeness. A whole person sharing love, not completing the other, rather sharing with the other.

- Love is ever-evolving. The energy of love cannot remain constant for a moment. It is energy. It is energy in motion. E-motion. Constantly moving and changing shape. Because that is the way of it. Where people (especially couples) get caught is in thinking their love will remain the same as the day they met. That the feelings will remain intact. They won’t. They can’t. The feeling of love changes moment by moment. It is actually growing you. What happens is we resist it by clinging on to a past feeling state. When we see the other changing and growing, from the love, we resist the changes and want the other person back. It can’t happen that way.

- Be open-minded. Be open-hearted. Be willing to ride the ever changing state of mind and being that moves with, and from, love. Love is who you are. Love with that awareness and all will be well in your world. Love what is real in your life. Reality is what is inside of you. Feel it. Love your self through life. It all grows from there. Fall out of love with you, and you fall out of love with life. Love is who you are. When you ride the river of love, it is like the river of life, constantly ever changing and evolving. Enjoy the ride.

Anya Sophia Mann is a Visionary and Intuitive Consultant, who masterfully coaches leaders of leaders, teachers of teachers, and healers of healers into new thought, mindfulness, and new ways of being in the world. People say ‘follow your heart’, Anya proposes that you lead with your heart. Anya is laser-like in evoking your uniqueness. She believes your uniqueness IS your success. She facilitates international workshops, and retreats, for leaders of all disciplines. She offers coaching, consulting and mentoring services and is available for public speaking.

She is founder of: http://www.LifeCoachingMagazine.net

http://www.ConsciousJourney.com

An eternity band is always set with diamonds, usually a band of them either covering the entire circle of the ring or half of the circle of the ring. There are two main types of these bands. Those two types are full and half.

A half eternity band is the style that have diamonds along the face of the band. These are essentially made to be visible to anyone looking at the outside of the hand as they do not have diamonds along the entirety of the ring. This style is much easier to come by as they are easier for jewelers to make, and they are much more affordable than full rings.

The rings that are full have diamonds encompassing the whole expanse of the band. They cover both the front and the back, making them visible whether someone is looking at the front or the back of the hand. This style is far more expensive than the half style for more than one reason. The obvious reason would be that they use more diamonds, but they are also much more difficult to make. These can not be generically sized, they must be custom sized to order.

Diamonds are not the only stones that you can get these bands adorned with. Birth stones and other precious gems are also common or popular, such as rubies, sapphires, and emeralds. Including a gem other than a diamond does not decrease the sentiment that comes with one of these rings by any bit, and can even increase it. This is especially true because a bit of color on the ring can make it more beautiful than just being set with a row of diamonds.

Finding the right band to symbolize your love for eternity is up to you. If you are going with a half style, then you can keep it a secret, but if you want to give her a full style ring then it will be more difficult. While it is possible in some instances to have the ring sized based on another fitting ring that she has, it is always better to have her come in and have the eternity band personally sized. This may ruin the element of surprise, but it will be all that much more special because she knows that it is coming and will appreciate the effort you have put into getting her a band that will stay on her finger for the rest of her live.

Find out how to prove your love is forever at our website. Eternity Bands

For a large majority of people, finding love doesn’t seem to be a major problem. The problems arise when they try to figure out how to keep the love they found. Avoiding the pitfalls and traps so common to most relationship failures often means two people need to work together with a focus on staying alert and being able to keep on top of the situations before they become nasty and uncontrollable.

It really makes no difference if you meet your partner in a bar, at church or through on line dating, when you find the perfect person they will have all of the qualities that you have always wanted in a mate.

Gee it sure would be great if your entire lives could run as smoothly as those first couple of months together. But as luck would have it and with love being blind and all, reality soon sets in and somehow all those little things you thought were so cute and perfect about your partner start to get on your nerves.

Becoming aware of and watching out for a few of the things that have a tendency to drag your relationship down may allow you the chance to nip a few of those problems in the bud before they get a chance to get out of control.

Knowing and realizing that the newness of anything will wear off the longer you have it, just the same as that new car stays shiny and bright until you get a few door dings in it. When these things happen the longer we have them the more we have a tendency to take less care of them. It just seems natural if we want to keep something bright and shiny we have to put in the extra effort to keep it nice. Relationships are no different.

Any relationship that is worth putting time into and saving will require some pretty good communications and understanding among the partners. There is a major difference between hearing and listening. Establishing great communications from the beginning of your relationship will allow you to gain the maturity to handle tough situations for the rest of your life.

Basing your relationship on a purely sexual level is a sure fire recipe for disaster. While sex is important to a healthy relationship, it only stands to reason that over the years both of you probably won’t maintain the same level of sexual excitement. What’s great now may not be as enjoyable some where down the road. And yes guys things happen in your life that may at some time slow you down also. So don’t just think of your partner for purely sexual reasons. Take the time to really get into your mates head and get to really know them. Base your relationship on love instead of just sex and your future years together will be a whole lot more enjoyable.

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I won’t get into the types of successes they’ve achieved, because that’s irrelevant: we all carry different definitions of success in different areas (finance, health, leadership, relationships, all of the above…). The point is that these people make me want to be my best.

I should qualify this discussion first by saying that I’m an introvert – and so being around people doesn’t tend to ‘recharge’ me as a rule. So what I’m really talking about is the cultivation of quality relationships.

I’ve taken many positive steps on many levels, simply because of my social affiliations: whether it’s because of the bits of wisdom I picked up through their conversations, or because I observed their actions and successes – which made me want to do the same, or simply because I felt good in their presence (positive psychology research tells us, not surprisingly, that we’re just plain more effective in every aspect when we’re feeling good).

Psychology research also tells us that the more quality relationships we have in our lives, the healthier and sharper we are apt to be in our later years and greater level of mental health we’ll enjoy.

So who do you surround yourself with? Who contributes to your happiness and success by just ‘being there’?

And on the other side of the coin, I’m sure we can all relate to the opposite. Who brings you down through their negativity? Who doesn’t set the bar high enough for themselves or for you? Who around you settles for mediocrity, and how does this affect your sense of drive and hope?

We can’t always choose all of the people in our lives, of course, but we can exercise discretion with the choices we are able to make. Who are you now, and where are you going? What kinds of people do you need in your life to help pave the way?

And, of course, all this isn’t to say that we shouldn’t be caring, helping, and supportive people – but it’s really about how we manage the flow of energy. Are you often left feeling depleted because you give out more than you receive – or do you have a strong reciprocal flow and reserve of positive energy in your life?

1. Attraction
2. Love
3. Trust

I pastor a Church, and when I do marital counseling I can tell where a marriage is struggling, weak, empty, or strong all based on these three areas of their relationship. Each one of the three elements produces footprints in that a knowledgeable counselor can follow to determine the strength of a relationship.

By themselves, they seem rather obvious, but upon examination we begin to see the intricacies of these elements to determine behavioral patterns in relationships. It is possible to trust someone you don’t love, or love someone you don’t trust, or even be attracted to someone you don’t trust or love. You can even love someone that you don’t like. Oh yes, family members do this all the time.

As you can see, these aren’t simple elements that we can simply take for granted. If all three of these areas are strong on both ends of the relationship, then you have a very strong relationship. If even one of these is missing from either side, you have a problem. The more that are missing, or the more that are weak, the larger the problems you have in the relationship.

Let’s take a closer look.

ATTRACTION

All relationships start here. You looked at a girl and became attracted to the way she walked, looked, smiled, or behaved. The attraction enabled you to notice each other. You only opened up because you liked his manner, kindness, and gentleness. Without the initial attraction, there would be very little relationship to begin with, or nothing at all.

What makes for strong relationships is when you have things in common, such as sharing the same values, principles, and likes and dislikes. These attractions build interest and comfort in a relationship.

But it is something that can be lost. Married couples who don’t maintain their attraction to each other suddenly develop problems in their relationships.

Signs that ‘attraction’ is a problem in your relationship:

• You don’t like being around them much.
• You get irritated at little and insignificant things that they do.
• You feel more comfortable or relaxed when they aren’t around.

If this is you, you need to rekindle the attraction. Find new hobbies, new experiences to share together. Rediscover all that you have in common and enjoy those things together. If you can’t think of any, find new ones.

LOVE

I don’t believe that love is some sort of warm fuzzy emotion. I believe that love is a decision and an action that is often demonstrated by personal sacrifice. I also believe that your love is based on who you are, not who the person you love is.

If you love someone because of what they do or don’t do, your love isn’t love, it is attraction. Love is something that comes from you as a gift. It is based on who you are.

Many people like being around each other, but they don’t really love each other. They aren’t willing to make personal sacrifices when the going gets rough. They love to hang out with you, or do things with you, but they’ll split when things get difficult.

Signs that ‘love’ is a problem in your relationship:

• You don’t like making sacrifices for them.
• You don’t want to be involved with their problems.
• You feel put upon when they bring problems to you.
• You have no interest in their difficulties or problems.
• Their problems push you away instead of bringing you closer.

Interestingly enough, two people who don’t like each other but actually do love each other will find that their relationship is strongest when they have a problem. The problem actually binds them together and they tackle the problem together. But when there is no problem, they can’t stand being around each other.

Ever see a boy who couldn’t stand his little brother? But if a bully threatens his little brother, watch out! Here comes big brother. Although he doesn’t like his little brother, he does love him.

TRUST

Trust is something that must be earned. You don’t give away trust like you do love. Everyone will agree that trust is important in a relationship. You can’t just demand that someone trust you.

This is the final stage of a developing relationship. It beings with attraction, or liking each other, and you often give the gift of love, but only time can fully develop this issue of trust. Trust is important.

Signs that ‘trust’ is a problem in your relationship:

• You are suspicious of them.
• You question their actions and motives.
• You only feel comfortable when you are near them, but not when they are away from you.
• You find it difficult to believe their words.
• You find yourself insecure in the relationship.

What really makes relationships a mess is when the missing or weak element is different for each person involved. Say a wife doesn’t trust her husband, and the husband doesn’t really like his wife anymore. In this case, she is suspicious, jealous, controlling, and only content when he is where she can keep an eye on him. Conversely, he can’t stand to be around her. He doesn’t find her enjoyable anymore and her suspicion and jealousy make him want to be away from her even more. This makes for a mess.

Say that a brother doesn’t like his sister, but he loves her, yet the sister likes her brother, but doesn’t really love him. In this case, the brother only ever feels close to his sister when she’s in trouble. But she, on the other hand, likes to be around him, but can’t handle his problems or troubles. This makes for an awkward relationship to say the least.

Examine your own relationships and find out which areas need to be improved and built up. We can always improve.

Please visit our website at: http://fitlyspoken.org

For more books and resources to build relationships and express yourself.

Specializing in practicality that works, not the politically correct or socially acceptable platitudes!

These examples highlight the costs involved when we allow our happiness and sense of well-being to be externally defined by external forces. Let’s take the first scenario. Many people without partners spend a lot of time seeking a mate and feel that somehow their lives are incomplete. Valentine’s Day becomes a reminder that another year has passed without their wish being fulfilled. However, this is a fantasy despite the undeniable possibilities for great fulfillment and joy to be gained by a healthy relationship. By deciding, in advance, what we think will make us happy, we doom ourselves to unhappiness until we acquire what we originally decided would satisfy us. It is a fantasy that ‘the relationship’ will bring such fulfillment. By the time a mate arrives, the internal image of perfection is so ingrained that little room exists for them to be seen as the unique individual they are; instead, they become no more than a projection of the seeker’s own stereotypes.

The second scenario is closely linked to the first. Many people with partners become disillusioned on Valentine’s Day because their partners don’t act in accordance with their internal beliefs of what is appropriate displays of affection. A loving partner who genuinely values their partner may find themselves being criticized as unloving because they fall short of what the media, magazines or their mate’s friends say is appropriate. For example they did not buy red roses, provide a romantic gift or even something as simple as an e card. This again points to the failure to see one’s personal relationship as unique and special, with the unspoken rules of communication specific to them. By placing another human in the category ‘intimate partner’, ‘spouse‘ or another other category, is to immediately run the risk of objectifying them rather than seeing them as the unique individual they are.

By rejecting society’s norms and mores of how you should be in a relationship, you empower yourself to choose your life on your own terms. You take an important step in taking responsibility for your life, your relationships and, as a result, no longer become disappointed with others in the same way. You may become disappointed with yourself because you have short-changed yourself in terms of how you choose to be treated, but the empowering fact of this different perspective, is that you get in touch with your real power. Instead of leaving your happiness to fate, external circumstances or the narrow constraints of those who believe there are fixed ways to live your life, you get to choose the value you place on other people’s behavior.

It can be enormously liberating and rewarding once you see yourself and others as unique and special, rather than fixed and bounded by societal projections of normality.

Clare Mann is a Counselling Psychologist in Sydney Australia who specialises in assisting people to remove the myths of limitation in their lives. She is the author of the “Myths of Life and The Choices We Have”, an existential self-help book. Relationship Counselling Sydney

Relationships are funny creatures; designed to elicit the best and worst from the individuals involved in them. Although it appears as if you are involved with another distinct person, you are, in fact involved with an underlying obscured part of yourself which needs identifying and relating to. With appropriate understanding and recognition, you can ’see your way clear’ to an insightful experience. Once having subjected yourself to the nebulous involvement, you will no longer need to refer to your actions with dread of ‘doing the wrong thing’ or suffering unnecessary hurt. You will comprehend that it is impossible to avoid anything and there is no guarantee associated with the leap into the depths of your own foreboding abyss. The fact of the matter is that you will emerge unscathed and filled with unmistakable self-knowledge and power attached to the plummeting into the relational depths of tense despair.

By facing both the dark side and light side of your vehemently nervous fretful mind, you will be freed from the bonds of panic and contentious worry that forever plague you. Your undisclosed insecure personality (as revealed in the other) is laden in criticism, negativity and lack of confidence based upon the premise of unawareness. The guilt, anxiety, and duty you have attached to personal responsibility in the outcome of the relationships are nauseating. You are not that important in the material scope of things. Things happen as they do for reasons you have no way of comprehending or appreciating. But, because of the ill-defined sanction you have attached to self-importance, problems ensue. In other words, you luxuriate in the ‘victim role’ in the relationship realm.

When will you finally realize how the ‘ego victim drama’ of emotional superiority affects others {which is mirrored back to you} and the exaggerated lengths you go to produce the solicit effect you think you desire, you will cease to drag around its overburdened contents. Really, the entire scenes are shown for what they are: boring childish antics. You will also come to realize how the unpleasant apprehension you exhaust is felt by everyone who comes within 15 feet of you. {No, it’s not enjoyable}

Also, your false need to ‘fix’ the relationship is so blatantly dramatically apparent that it’s almost funny if it wasn’t so sad. What can you fix? What do you think needs fixing? Who do you think needs fixing? [Red alert: sign on the wall look deeply into it] What words? “Why?” Say the word slowly aloud facing east. What’s there? Can you see the unobvious clues facing you? Certainly not, as long as you are blinded by the betrayal of your own eyes of despair and hurt. How can you possibly hurt yourself with full conscious intent? The irrational incident is merely a self-designed play to cure your incessant need of self-importance.

Time to heal. Steps and ladders are offered in increments IF you want to walk the plank over the barren soil of non-vested interest in order to receive the truth locked within your deepest mental caverns. What is it you really really really want more than anything else in the whole wide world? You can have it. It’s staring you smack dab in the face. But, you must not look to the obvious but what lies beneath. Remember: in order to discover what lies underneath, the soil must be disturbed and the plants of decay must be uprooted. Yanked up and stripped clean of the thorns of dismay. What plants? They would be in the category of disappointment, fear of time running out before you realize your most cherished goals, and past betrayal. Of course, the dreaded culprit of impending loneliness provides the ongoing nurtured manure for these thriving plants. Shake loose the binding force and so shall you breathe deeply for the first time in your current involvement.

Fear of changing direction/communication (ways of doing things) without a clear cut decision-making controlled plan is another crystal clear indication of a breakthrough. Follow suit without knowing what’s to come. No need to compare or speculate what’s better or worse. Another sign: What are you trying to avoid? Do that first! And, what are you trying to buildup as a means of security? Get simple. Shred the ribbon of pretense. STOP all striving and competing for affection. IF you are the least bit jealous, envious, or concerned over what someone else is doing, then another round of debilitating patterns in emotional depression will be needed before you are released from your current entanglement. If you are trying to impress, you are in the prickly throws of Depression! Forget about it. Get back to uncomplicated, ordinary speaking as quickly as possible. Stop being so secretive. It’s making you sick.

Relationship is the domain where you ‘gag at a gnat and swallow a camel’. Stop sweating the insignificant things. Who cares how fast the race horses ran at Belmont except for the ones betting and the owners? Get your mouth, mind, eyes, and comments out of what does not directly concern you. Let the other be. No one is keeping anything from you and there’s no way for you to know something before the exact moment you need to be aware of it. In other words, be present in this minute. What’s going on right now? What’s the flavor sensation in your Mouth? What do you face when you turn 180 degrees to the right? “State the facts, mam; simply the facts.” Turn the radio on: What song is playing? It’s all here in the ‘ordinary events” not in the would be future. Remember: this is as good as it gets.

It is here where the outer circumstances of your life will unfold according to a very specialized and detailed ‘order of the ethers’ that you and only you called into existence. Who else on earth do you think did it? That’s you’re the real reason for your current involvement. It’s your call: every single bit of it. Nobody’s giving you the shaft. You created the story and the characters in the exact manner in which they play their well defined roles. Stop berating their influential actions. Cease with your constant irritating interference. Your incessant need to be heard, seen and praised for being so loving and understanding, patient and tolerant is really rather ridiculous. Give me a break! It’s your ’soap opera’ day time affair. Do you honestly believe you do so much? HA!!!! Think again or rewrite the script. It’s your esoteric call.

I have a BS in Communication with a MA in Art Education currently pursuing a Ph.D in Educational Psychology. I am an Executive Cosmic Therapist, artist, entertainer, singer/songwriter, musician, composer, playwright, perfumer, professional astrologer, tarot consultant, Numerologist, author, teacher, speaker, poet and self-taught chef.

I am also the creator/ host of the entertainingly popular MODE Of Cosmic Therapy Hour television show. [Currently on air in Raleigh and Asheville North Carolina] In addition, I am the Founder/Director/C.E.O. of M.O.D.E International School of Esoteric Arts and Sciences.

Innovator: MODE of Cosmic Therapy E-Mail O-Gram

You see, the basis for a magical relationship begins and ends with you. That right! But, you’ve been so busy trying to transform your partner into Mr. Right that you’ve forgotten to look in the mirror! While you’ve been consumed with the futile task of transforming your mate into a compassionate, caring, loving, understanding and romantic man, you’ve neglected to ask whether you possess those qualities. When you get right down to brass tacks, we attract relationships based on the sum of who we where, who we are, and what we believe. Therefore, if you want to attract a magical relationship, you must become it -period!

Examine your own beliefs! What fears and insecurities are preventing you from evolving into a confident, loving, kind and caring woman? Do you have a fear of intimacy or abandonment? Do you have a difficult time trusting others? Or, do you feel inadequate or unworthy of having a magical relationship? Do you really love yourself completely and unconditionally? Bottom line, you are what you think you are, and that is what you’ll attract. If you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else love you? Love is giving in a relationship, but only when you can first give it to yourself!

Begin by describing all of the qualities that you’d like your partner to possess, then compare them to your qualities. Don’t make excuses! Be honest with yourself! If you continue to blame your partner or others for the void that you have in your life, you will continue to attract more of the same. Once you have made an honest, comparative analysis, then you can uncover the fears and insecurities that are preventing you from evolving. I have listed them below:

Fear of intimacy
Fear of control
Fear of abandonment
Fear of inadequacy
Fear of control
Low self esteem

These self-limiting beliefs are held in your subconscious mind and limit you from getting what you really want in life. And in this case, what you really want is a magical relationship. But, the relationship of your dreams has eluded you and is currently slipping from your grasp because your fears and insecurities have nearly driven it off the cliff! Without question, negative, self-limiting beliefs are the direct fundamental cause of a relationship crisis, but the fears and insecurities that accompany them are the primary drivers.

As an example, Sandy meets Bill, and it’s a match made in Heaven! It’s pure bliss! In fact, Sandy and Bill believe they are soul mates. Bill is kind, loving, passionate and romantic and attends to Sandy’s every need. Well, Sandy and Bill get hitched in what seems to be a magical relationship. But after a few years, the magic starts to fade and the problems begin. It turns out; Sandy has suffered from a fear of abandonment most of her life because her father left at the tender young age of five. And, Bill suffers from a fear of rejection that was perpetuated by his alcoholic father. As Sandy’s insecurities begin to surface, she requires more and more attention. She begins complaining that Bill hasn’t been giving her the attention he once did. Unrelentingly, Sandy continues to demand more and more from Bill until he reaches the breaking point. Bill senses that things are going awry, and decides to end the relationship before Sandy rejects him completely.

Because Sandy failed to address her fears and insecurities, she relied on Bill to fill an emotional void. “She, who relies on others to fill a void in her own life, builds a house of cards on shaky ground.” You see, self-love is the rock-solid foundation for every magical relationship. But, it’s virtually impossible to embrace self-love if self-limiting beliefs are standing in your way.

Best wishes,

David Roppo
The Relationship Rehab Coach

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When attending a function, know the dress code. You do not want to go on record as the ‘terribly dressed’. More importantly, make sure you are neat and clean. It is unforgivable for you to wear torn, stained or wrinkled clothes.

If you have to wear any make up, please do not over do it. Also do not be so flashy, just keep your patterns to minimum. Make sure you cover up tattoos and body jewelry if you are attending a professional function. Also be conscious of how you dress your jewelry; if you choose to put on silver, then all your jewelry should be silver and likewise when you choose to put on gold. Never mix the two.

In addition, know your type and dress according to your size. Get clothes that fit you properly, do not go wearing anything too tight or too big. Improve your dressing tread, and watch the way people will treat you.

Proper dress code gives you a good first impression hence you will not struggle to make an impression. It is these first impressions that make you gain favor when attending an interview. Therefore, before you leave your house, check yourself on the mirror since you never know who you will meet.

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They put all their energy into their plans, trying desperately to possess the person they desire, and this is why when they fail, they cannot bear their existence, which provokes a situation of profound despair.

In their despair, they will accept all the absurd suggestions that come from the primitive side of their brain: the anti-conscience, their wild conscience, which is too violent, immoral and cruel, because it is an animal, and it was not tamed through the process of consciousness, like the tiny portion of our brain that has human characteristics.

This means that they will accept doing whatever it takes in order to possess the person they love, without thinking about the consequences of their actions.

When someone accepts absurd ideas, they lose the notion about what is real or imaginary, what has the probability of happening, what has not, and so on. This is why their absurdity only increases.

Their obsession gradually becomes a mania: they cannot think about anything else besides their desire to be near the person they love. This means that they cannot concentrate their attention on any topic, and they cannot judge or evaluate anything. This also means that they are not able to work normally, and that they start making many mistakes everywhere.

Depending on how many unsuccessful attempts will mark their lives with deceptions, and depending on their psychical condition, they may become schizophrenic, and live in a constant nightmare. If you want to avoid becoming a victim of schizophrenia because you are desperately in love but you cannot find a way to be near the person you love, you must immediately start caring about the meaning of your dreams, since their messages work like psychotherapy, showing you how to overcome all mental illnesses by taming the powerful anti-conscience that takes advantage of your weakness in order to invade the human side of your conscience with its absurdity.

Dream therapy provides you with the best treatment, and entirely free of charge, since the wise unconscious mind that produces your dreams keeps sending you dream messages unconditionally for your whole life.

Learn how to instantly translate the dream language into words and sentences that you can understand, and fight against the domination of the absurdity imposed by the anti-conscience.

The unconscious mind will not only help you beat craziness, but will also show you how you can manage to be near the person you love, if this person is really your perfect match, and if they will really make you happy.

In case you are in love with the wrong person, the unconscious mind will show you how to very objectively judge them, which means that you’ll stop loving them the way you do after seeing who they really are, and how much they will make you suffer.

Then the unconscious mind will show you how you can discover the right person for you, so that you may stop being a victim of people that will only make you lose your mental health, and find real love and happiness in life.

Christina Sponias continued Carl Jung’s research into the human psyche, discovering the cure for all mental illnesses, and simplifying the scientific method of dream interpretation that teaches you how to exactly translate the meaning of your dreams, so that you can find health, wisdom and happiness. Learn more at: http://www.scientificdreaminterpretation.com. Click Here to download a Free Sample of the eBook Dream Interpretation as a Science (86 pages!).

But when that trust is lost, the balance of the whole relationship is off. Gaining the trust back is the first step to rebuilding a relationship.

1. Admit Fault

No matter what happened for the trust to be lost, the first and most powerful step to regaining it is to admit being at fault. Do not attempt to justify your actions and definitely do not try to blame it on someone else. You have control over everything that happens to you in life.

It may not be easy, but stepping away from a situation that threatens your relationship is always an option. Be humble in this process, and do not be surprised if it is not as graciously accepted as you may have hoped.

2. Be Patient

The next step is to remain patient. You never know how long it takes for someone to heal from being let down and disappointed, so do not rush it. This will only tell them that you have no idea what pain you have caused them.

Had you not abused their trust in the first place, they would not be in this position. There is no rule book on how to give someone your trust back and forgive, so do not put someone in this position then expect them to act like you would. They need time to rebuild the feelings that gave them the faith to take this journey with you. Give it to them.

3. Empathize

Empathizing with your significant other can help quicken this pace. If you constantly disagree with the feelings they have toward your action, it only takes longer. Show you understand that you are wrong and that their feelings are justified.

Start regaining your partner’s trust by doing what you say you are going to do.

If you can commit to not hurting them again, do so and follow through. But if you cannot, do not waste their time and feelings. Otherwise, be where you say you will be, consider their feelings, ask their opinion, and put yourself in their position. If need be, consider counseling. Having a third party assess the situation and offer advice can be fruitful.

Regaining another person’s trust is not an easy task.

In fact, it will be harder to regain it than it was to initially gain it. Put in the necessary work and be sensitive to their feelings, and the relationship will once again blossom.

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Analyze Problems - Find out the current problems in your relationship? If your partner is cheating on you, he’s doing it due to lack of intimacy. You’ve got to become intimate with him again if you want to win him back. Note down the problems.

Find Solutions - Create solutions to these problems and fix them. If you aren’t intimate with your partner, you can go out on a date once every week to get close to each other.

Share and Connect - Share and connect your feelings and thoughts. Talk about your life, about their life and future plans. Talk openly and go out more often. If you want to save the relationship, you’ve got to deeply know each other.

Support - Support your partner in the things they do. In return, they will support you in the things you do. You are not being a doormat by supporting your partner in career by taking care of the kids. Support and Mutual Trust is very important in a relationship. Both of you aren’t strangers. You are soul mates. No one is meant to be submissive or dominant. Both of you have to support each other.

Maturity – Maturity is very important in a relationship. Both of you have to be mature if you want to have a successful relationship. Stop giving excuses and accept your faults and responsibilities. Stop criticizing your partner for the things they do. Appreciate them for what they did. They’ll feel better and react in a better manner.

Make Love – Love-making is the best way to reignite passion in your relationship. Make love at least once or twice a week. Don’t prepare for the night. It should happen just like that. You have to start making out, slowly escalate and make love intensely. You’ll get closer and your relationship will regain its lost trust and intimacy soon.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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